unfortunately unavoidable contemplations.

A question that has rarely left my mind for the past few months: What is forgiveness?

Are there relationships that should simply be set on the shelf and left to gather dust? Is there a point at which further pursuit of peace becomes purposeless, and the best course of action is dismissal?

What if you have spent a lifetime offering second chances and forgiveness to one person - without so much as their knowledge of the pain they have caused you? Does God allow you to walk away from that relationship entirely and, as much as possible, avoid that person for an indefinite period of time? Perhaps forever?

How can God's perfect forgiveness so readily accept me back into His loving arms? Why is it that, while He has bestowed such infinite mercy and grace on me, I seem incapable of showing the same kindness to someone else? Even someone so closely related to me?

Is it even the original offense(s) that bother me so much, or is it the fact that this person so readily spoke ill of me to someone who was completely unrelated to the situation? Why is it that, while I had enough respect for her to confide only in my parents and my fiance, she chose to mar someone else's opinion of me?

Yet again, I am reminded of my Father's ever constant love and forgiveness. Lord, have I truly turned from you so many times? Have I failed to declare Your goodness to those around me? Have I suggested that You were unfaithful? How did you forgive me? How do you forgive me?

No, time cannot heal all wounds; however, does perspective? Does joy? Does God? There are myriad mistakes I have made, pains I have experienced, and regrets I have caused. Yet, as I look back, they are nothing to me. People I believed would never leave my heart have faded to mere characters in memories that seem like nothing more than a play in my mind. Situations that seemed, at the time, to be life-altering events, have passed with little to no lasting impressions. Will the same be true in the things that weigh so heavily on my heart tonight? Will this pass, and remain nothing more than a distant memory?

Will I ever be able to look into the faces of those who have hurt me, and feel no pain?