dreams.

Surreal. Sometimes myriad emotions can be described in a single word. I never can decide how I feel about those times. Do I love them? Do I hate them? Do I fear them? Do I thrive on them?

There are so many things I wanted to do. Travel . . . go to school . . . learn to live life with no boundaries . . .

Ah, the effect two little pink lines can have on a life. Actually, that was four tests and eight pink lines. And two more tests. And a blood test.

Suddenly, I find myself completely re-thinking everything I ever wanted. How do I accomplish the things I've always perceived to be so important, with a child? More than anything else, I've dreamed of staying home with my child. Why does that now scare me more than anything?

TCU's harp professor emailed me today and asked me to play in the fall solo/ensemble recital. How does God always manage to open a door the moment I become discouraged?

Motherhood is such a beautiful thing, and a great accomplishment. Yet, I'm so afraid I'll let go of the things I love - mainly my music. I miss playing so much . . .

Back to writing thank you notes, three months after the wedding. I am a horrible person, yes. But I've been slightly overwhelmed.